The Pause

There is preciousness in a pause.

Those spaces of in-between are rich with potency.

Stillness. Presence. Reflection. Rumination. Recalibration.

Hovering in the absence of doing.

Slowing down. . . to remember an intention, to savour in a juicy momnet, to refresh, reboot or recalibrate.

Pausing in sexual interactions and pleasure with yourself or partner/s helps reconnect with the present moment. A sweet suspension of activity: a breath to pause from any destination or attachment to outcomes.

Pausing creates succulent space for something new to emerge, to be known, felt, sensed and created.

The pause is a golden ticket, a gateway to a different and deeper experience. It’s a space to observe and feel what is happening in your body, and/or in your partner’s body.

Relish in the pause.

Can you find reflection and rest in the temporary state of halt?

What does embodiment mean?

What is Embodiment. . . What does it have to do with Pleasure & Sexuality?

Embodiment, pleasure and sexuality are all connected with how we live our day-to-day lives, how we receive our own physical and emotional sensations, and how we respond to other people and the world around us.

Let’s tease out what these different qualities mean 

Embodiment is an experiential awareness of sensations in the body.

 An embodied state of being means feeling comfortable, present, and at-home in the skin you’re in. You are embodied when you’re able to connect with what’s happening inside you, noticing with awareness how your body reacts and responds to life’s moments and situations.

 Embodiment can mean feeling the tightness of unease or nervous trembling experienced after a challenging interaction or facing a fear. It’s also the warm fluttering or electric pulse felt from sharing a tender moment or kiss.

 Embodied living begins with slowing down. This requires presence and practice.

The rewards and benefits are felt when you shift gears from “doing and thinking” to “being and feeling”.

 The human intellect is a gift - it’s a part of who we are. However, if we are always thinking and analyzing, always in our heads, we can easily disconnect from the felt pleasures and experiences of life.

 It’s important to balance using the mind and also being aware of the body - to the innate wisdom of your physical sensations.

 The bridge between the mind and body is our breath.

I invite you to take a few deep breaths as you are reading this.

 Pause for a moment and breathe . . .

 What do you notice? Do you feel present and aware of how your body feels?

If so. . .Voila, that’s a taste of embodiment.

 A big nugget of deliciousness resides in the pause, in the quiet presence of our body and its array of strong and subtle sensations.

 Being with what is may certainly pose some challenge in this digital zeitgeist of distraction and busy preoccupation. Many folks go to great lengths to numb or suppress any stirring of emotion because it can be uncomfortable to feel what the body has to say. But there is great potential for pleasure, too!

 In order to tune in we have to turn off  all distractions and be willing to get curious.  When we are connected with ourselves, we are better able to distinguish our needs, wants and desires. This is deeply empowering.

 And what does all this have to do with Pleasure?

 Embodiment is the foundation from which pleasure is cultivated and our sexuality is expressed. It’s a place of ripe potential and possibility. And pleasure begins with you being in your body - experiencing embodiment - and getting to know what you really want.

 The journey into embodiment and pleasure begins with you. If you don’t know what brings you pleasure or how you enjoy being touched, how is anyone else going to?

 When we feel into our bodily experience, experiment with what feels wonderful and what is unwanted, then we begin to be able to share and teach others our desires, wants, boundaries and needs.

 Just like embodiment, pleasure is a practice. It too, requires presence.

 How we connect with our Sexuality is expressed through our body in how we speak, smile, stand, sit, dance, laugh, pour tea and live. The sexual aspect of this human experience is an ongoing and evolving process. It encompasses our values, attitudes, experiences and feelings. We are sexual beings by nature, and how we express that is unique to each individual.

 Ponder your pleasure for a moment . . .

 Are you listening to your body?

How might you bring more presence into it?

Would you like to experiment with some playful practices of embodied awareness?

 If so, here a few easy and fun tips to bring more embodiment and pleasure into your daily life. Your sex life will thank you for it!

* Enjoy long, deep inhales throughout the day.  Every time you walk through a door, inhale and exhale with awareness.

•  Smile more; notice how that feels. Feel the muscles in your face. (If you don’t feel smiley, do it anyways and see what happens!)

•  Slow down. Bring awareness to how you walk.

• Notice how you feel in your body. Set a reminder to breathe consciously and reflect on sensations in your body 2-3 times a day.

•  Move your body! Stretch, dance, twirl, squat, walk. Notice how the movements feel and what works best for you.

•  Touch yourself. Caress and discover the texture of skin and the sensations in your fingertips as you explore.

•  Whatever size, shape, sex, colour, form of your body … appreciate it, in some way, every day.

Having gratitude for your body and breath is a powerful act of self-love and embodiment. Celebrate that today!

Lorraine

Breath & Pleasure

Would you believe that the most underused tool in our sexual pleasure treasure kit is not lube, not lingerie, not even your tongue . . . It’s breath.

Breathing is an essential skill and something we do - on average - 16 times per minute, 960 times an hour and 23,000 times a day; yet, most of us pay very little attention to it.

If we do think about breath, it’s most likely because we are running out of it, choking on something, or gasping for it. It’s the first thing we bring into our body when we’re born into the world and the last thing to leave our body as we pass on. The timeline between our first and last breath is, well, now . . . this life.

How well are you breathing? Notice how you are breathing in this moment. Is it chesty and high in the body or deep from your diaphragm?

Just notice.

Let’s take a moment here to pay some breathy homage to this most vital bodily function.

Inhale. Exhale.

Feel the air entering your sinuses, feel into your breath with gratitude for your pulse today.

Breathing is not only regenerative and restorative, it’s super conducive to physical wellness, overall sexual health and . . . pleasure.

Breathing may not seem particularly sexy, but I assure you that it is key to:

• Feeling more sensation in the body

• Becoming more present and aware of our own body and partner’s body

• Increasing full body arousal and erotic embodiment

• Extending and expanding orgasm

• Helping prolong ejaculation

• Enhancing arousal & relaxation, eliminating stress

• Invigorating the senses

We can control and regulate our nervous system with breathing. We can calm, reset and arouse, or excite, awaken and stimulate - all with certain ways of breathing. Change and a shift in consciousness is literally just a breath away!

Breath and pleasure go hand in hand. They are true besties for erotic awakening, arousal and pleasure sensations.

Pleasure without conscious breathing is like summer without much sun: lacklustre. But when breath is long, deep and slow, the mind quietens. When the mind is quiet, presence prevails and the body relaxes.

In presence, we can better embody pleasure. More sensations are felt. Pleasures are heightened.

Breath. Presence. Breath. Pleasure.

Upon discovering that our genitals provide us with great pleasure, many of us learned at a young age to be ‘silent and speedy’ in pleasure for fear of being heard, found out, or discovered. Pleasure may have become a ‘hurried & hushed’ habit carried into adulthood.

Added to this quick and quiet habit, the holding of your breath and tensing of your body equals very limited pleasure.

Habits can easily be undone, especially when you have the intention to reprogram pleasure in the body. It just takes some practice, and honing sexual skills can be sexy and fun! A great first step is exploring and playing with breath techniques to expand your capacity for pleasure.

Welcome to your very own superpower: respiration. Get to know it!

Here’s a brief breathing exercise to explore and connect your genitals with your heart and breath.

• Sit or stand, feet firmly planted on ground

• Place one hand on genitals, cupping them, palm on pubic mound, fingers down and in a gentle hold

• Place the other hand on your heart

• Notice how it feels to hold your heart and genitals

• Begin to breathe deeply in through nose, take a 4 second-long inhale

• Exhale through mouth for count of 6, longer than inhale

• Breathe into your heart, breathe into genitals

• Add vibration into the palm of your hands

• Incorporate a moan or sound on the next few exhales

Give yourself permission to breathe with power, purpose and presence.

You are allowed to be heard, to breathe heavily with a sigh, a moan or a hum. This can enhance the pleasurable sensations pulsing through your body.

Support yourself to be wild in the pursuit of arousal and what brings you enjoyment.

Breathe and remember…Pleasure is a practice!

Lorraine L